When I first met Sam Shepard in the late l970s, I didn't
know he was a writer. On a bulletin board in Halifax, I
saw an advertisement for a house for rent in Advocate
Harbor, Nova Scotia, and I drove right out. I had some
savings from Canadian employment in research sponsored
by a documentary film project, but no place to live,
apart from hotels. I arrived in Advocate Harbor one
early summer afternoon. The big, ramshackle "sea
captain's cape" was set back up on a rise overlooking
the Bay of Fundy. The house needed to be painted. I met
Sam's wife, O-Lan, who invited me inside. Sam, a slim,
handsome, long-haired fellow, dressed in jeans, black
tee-shirt and motorcycle boots, came into the kitchen,
which also needed paint – the whole interior needed
paint and lots of repairs. I could see that right away.
Sam gave me a tour. It was a "weather-beaten solid old
house," he said, "but it's not haunted or anything like
that. It's very warm and comfortable to live here."
He drove me over to meet the nearest neighbors, Scott
and Annie Dewis, who served as caretakers when Sam's
family was in New York or elsewhere. As I said, I didn't
know he was a writer. He never mentioned it. I liked the
house immediately. I could see myself living in it,
although it seemed too large for one person, really.
"Why not try it out for a month or two, then see if you
want to buy it," he said.
Basically, the whole set-up felt plausible. At dinner
their young son, Jesse, joined us, but he only grabbed a
hamburger and ran back outside. After dinner, everyone
walked down to the beach on the Bay of Fundy. We made a
driftwood fire. We drank some wine and talked, mainly
about the house. He had an interesting accent, one I
wasn't familiar with, though naturally I equated it with
rural southern California, where he said he was born and
raised. Sam mentioned that they were moving to northern
California. He asked about the documentary film work I'd
been doing, and I told him about that, especially a
cemetery I researched in Cape Breton. We followed our
flashlight beams back up the slope.
I ended up spending the night. It was too late to drive
back to Halifax and I was glad for the hospitality. I
went up to my room on the second floor. It was a moonlit
night and the view was beautiful, but I also wondered if
I'd be lonely in the house. It wasn't the isolation that
concerned me; writing this, I think of Bob Dylan's line,
"I got nothing but affection for the moon." Still, there
was something about the moon on the water that brought
an uneasiness that may have been prescient, because,
eight months later, I did feel too alone there. I turned
on the bedside lamp, and that's when I saw a collection
of Sam's plays with multiple photographs of him on the
cover. All I thought was, oh, he's a writer. I had no
idea of his reputation in avant-garde theatre in New
York, none at all. Nor had I seen the film "Days of
Heaven." I read the first play, then fell off to sleep.
Before I left for Halifax the next morning after
breakfast, we shook hands on the deal. I was to pay $200
a month rent. He wrote out an address where I should
send the rent. In a couple weeks, I received the first
of ten or twelve letters from Sam, sent from California.
They were mainly about practical things, things I should
know about the house, things I should look into if I was
going to stay on through the winter. Each of his letters
was detailed and thoughtful, most were handwritten in
cursive, in big looping letters. A few were typewritten.
Most were signed, Abrazos, Sam. I have the letters
somewhere; maybe a few are presently in an archive at
Boston University. I have a few in my farmhouse in
Vermont, too.
Anyway, I stayed in the house in Advocate Harbor for
about three months during that period of my life. Once a
week, I'd drive to Truro and on occasion on into
Halifax, but mostly I stayed in the house in Advocate
Harbor. I read a lot and tried to write a book about a
murder that took place in a hotel in Halifax, but the
book didn't go anywhere. I didn't yet know how apply
fictional nuance to the research of an actual incident,
though I was aware that such a strategy might be best. I
remember sending Sam a bunch of pages and receiving a
letter full of no-nonsense encouragement. At one point,
Sam wrote asking if I'd pack up a bunch of boxes of his
manuscripts, notebooks and photographs, and deliver them
to his archive at Boston University, which I did. I
stayed in Cambridge all winter and into early spring, at
which time I drove back to the Advocate Harbor house. In
a memoir called "My Famous Evening", I describe
returning to the house many years later, with my wife
and daughter, and discovering it was now owned by the
splendid Canadian actress, Megan Follows, who was very
welcoming. She and her husband had worked wonders; the
house was beautifully restored.
I’m 68 now. The exact timeline on all of this would rely
on my diaries for verification. Apologies, and much to
my embarrassment, I can't remember his name, the cordial
director of an arts center called INTERSECTION in San
Francisco, who to my great surprise invited me to read –
I think it was winter, l978 – as the opening act on the
same bill as Sam Shepard. The work he’d seen was
sections of travel diaries from northern Canada, and a
few vignettes, which might loosely be called prose
poems. I’d assessed the writing as sincere and
unaccomplished. However, I did feel intense insistences
to be a writer, and secretly what I had in mind was to,
preposterously, invent, I suppose you could say, a
genre: epistolary nonfiction. I wanted to write crafted
"literary" letters from disparate locals, that maybe
specialized in landscape descriptions, and birds. I’d
had some undergraduate classes in ornithology. I had
done graduate work at The Folklore Institute at Indiana
University, too, when the word "philology" was still in
use. The director of INTERSECTION said on the phone, in
an apartment I was renting in Cambridge, "I especially
liked those journal entries you wrote. Sam did, too. The
night you arrive, he'll drive in from Mill Valley and
you can go out for dinner. I think he's got some music
in mind, too. How's that sound? We can pay for travel,
plus three hundred bucks, plus we'll put you up in a
hotel near Intersection."
It all sounded remarkable, certainly an unprecedented
invitation in my life, but I was worried about having to
read in public. When the time came, I flew out to San
Francisco and checked into the Algonquian Hotel. I
wasn't in my room more than half an hour when Sam rang
me up on the phone. He was waiting in the lobby. We ate
at a kind of automat, and during our meal, he said he
had tickets to see Van Morrison at the Great American
Music Hall, did I want to go? That'd be great, I said.
Then I said something poised and elegant, like, "I’ve
never read anything in public before and I'll
probably throw up." If I remember right, we went through
at least five cups of coffee each. Then he drove us in
his pick-up truck to The Great American Music Hall. I’d
say maybe a dozen people said hello to him there. I was
getting some inkling of his public presence in San
Francisco. The concert was fantastic. We stayed through
all the encores, and he dropped me back at my hotel.
"Okay—I'll come by before our reading tomorrow," he
said. "Then afterward, there’s a good place to get a
drink, nearby Intersection. We can get a bite to eat
there, too. Next day, I'll drive in and bring you back
to the house. O-Lan wants to give you dinner."
Before the reading the next evening, I preemptively took
so many Pepto-Bismal tablets, it almost made me sick.
The space was packed –obviously all there to see and
hear Sam, as he had a big and devoted following. Sam
introduced me, which was generous. In the hotel room,
I'd rehearsed my reading, and had it down to twenty
minutes. But at Intersection, I read for about ten
minutes. It felt like nine minutes too long. Let's just
say it was a forgiving crowd. Sam read from "Hawk Moon",
and I think a few pieces from a book he wouldn't publish
for a few more years, "Motel Chronicles", though again I
might be wrong there. He got called back up for an
encore, and read a short monologue.
Afterwards, we repaired to a bar, which had a pool
table. Right away we played a couple games of pool. We
had some beers. Then we sat down and ordered some
goulash. John Dark came by; I may be remembering this
inaccurately, but I think John was driving a cab at that
time. Possibly he was driving a car that resembled a
cab. I noticed during the evening a number of men were
somewhat aggressive toward Sam, challenging him to games
of pool, which felt euphemistic for something else. He
declined. A number of women wrote out their telephone
numbers. I know that sounds like gender reductionism, as
academics might say, but it's what happened. Sam had a
wonderful and edgy presence. I liked his company
immensely. At one point, a fellow who'd been at the
reading sat down at our table and introduced himself,
"Phil Kaufman." I definitely got the impression he and
Sam hadn't met before, but Sam certainly knew his work
as a movie director. (I didn't.) They spoke for a while
at a separate table, and then both came back to my
table. Sam drove me back to my hotel at, I'd say, about
one o'clock in the morning.
Here's a photograph of Sam and Jesse in a restaurant in
Truro, Nova Scotia.
My memories, most of them, are vivid but inconsequential
to the understanding of Sam Shepard's genius or general
comportment, his deepest spirit, his joys and sorrows,
absolutely anything about his private life, his
prodigious writings, any aspect, really, of his
biography. In a few books about his life and work I've
read -- and like so many of his fans, I hope for a
serious biography -- I certainly recognized the traits
of generosity, laconic mysteriousness, a rather
unguarded, therefore generous sort of melancholy, and a
great capacity for drink, cigarettes and laughter. But
that is all based on those few days, back around l978,
so it's all somewhat impressionistic.
I've seen every one of his plays, mostly in New York,
but also in San Francisco, London, Los Angeles, even in
rural Vermont theatre. I think "Lie of the Mind" is his
masterpiece, but again, mine is an unlettered opinion. I
think to write even this much, should only suffice to
suggest I wasn't other than a footnote to a footnote to
a footnote to a footnote, which, given his
indispensability as a writer, director and actor, is
still an exalted position. I despise all hagiographical
thinking. I was not in Sam’s orbit. Plus which, I never
wanted anything from him, ever. However, over the years,
whenever I published a new novel, I'd get a note from
him, which was lovely.
I visited him a few times when he was in residence at
the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles, during
–
or around that time – he was acting in the film
"Frances." My wife and I had dinner with Sam and Jessica
Lange in Cambridge when he was working there with Joseph
Chaikin. That evening he spoke a lot about the poet
Ceasar Vallejo, one of his top favorite writers, of
course. He knew a lot of Vallejo's poems by heart. He
knew Borges, Paz, Machado and Mistral inside out. And
three or four times, we had meals, or cups of coffee –
Café Borgia in Greenwich Village
–
because we'd run into each other, completely unplanned.
Once there was coffee with Sam and the photographer
Robert Frank, at a café on Lafayette Street. But now
this traffics in name-dropping, instead of what it was,
merely happenstance, the loosest knit of affiliations,
but always a gift. And allow me to mention, the time I
sat in on rehearsals of "Simpatico"; that was memorable.
John Malkovich was memorable.
Every so often – by that I mean, at the most once every
two years – I’d get an out-of-the-blue phone call – no
doubt he'd been spooling through his planet-sized
rolodex -- from a motel, or house (near Charlottesville,
or I think once or twice from Santa Fe), and each time,
the conversation would be mostly "what are you working
on?" or the offer of a comical anecdote from some movie
set or other – but always the main subject was writing
and writers and books. But as I said, these were very
few and very far and very in-between, and never long
conversations. They served some late-night purpose,
which was just fine, and more than welcome; without fail
more than welcome. He had that inimitable voice. On the
rare occasion that I’d see someone who knew Sam far more
close-up and personal, such as the novelist Richard
Ford, I’d ask after him.
I have nothing else to say, and probably what I have
said failed at my original intention: to simply
articulate that Sam was always very encouraging toward
me, nearly a total stranger, who rented his Nova Scotia
house. Yet, strangely enough, I can't think of Vallejo's
poem which begins, "I will die in Paris on a rainy day,"
without hearing Sam recite it in the pick-up, in Spanish
and in English, crossing the Golden Gate bridge.
Iconically peripatetic a soul, he was, to my mind, as
Heraclites put it, on a "flight of the alone," which
might have, in his case, had to accommodate fame, but
only as a necessity. Like any truly disciplined and
devoted writer he got his work done sitting at a desk
alone, year after year. What feels most important in
terms of admiration, is that his writing, all of it, has
the rarest quality: originality -- the near spectral
tour-de-force that is Sam's final work, "Spy of the
First Person", shows that hauntingly. To me his writing
will, for a long, long time, continue to dignify
literature.
* * * * *
HOWARD NORMAN is a three-time winner of National
Endowment for the Arts fellowships and a winner of the
Lannan Award for fiction. His 1987 novel, The
Northern Lights, was nominated for a National Book
Award, as was his 1994 novel The Bird Artist. He
is also author of the novels The Museum Guard,
The Haunting of L, Devotion, What Is Left
the Daughter, Next Life Might Be Kinder, and
In The Hours Still Left To Us. His books
have been translated into twelve languages. Norman
teaches in the MFA program at the University of
Maryland.
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